HOW TO MANAGE CONFLIFT

By Victor Midgley:

The topic of why we experience conflict is a deep subject that I could not fully cover in this short episode. However, because this topic has been one of the most requested subjects, I will address some highlights and encourage anyone striving to better understand this matter to reach out to me for more in-depth instruction. Conflict, in the sense of facing resistance or temptation is a natural part of the human experience because growth is a primary part of our purpose. Just as muscles grow stronger through resistance, character is developed through challenges. If everything in life came easily, we would never learn discipline, wisdom, patience, or faith. Conflict often comes because of our beliefs, values, standards, desires, opinions, and perspectives. Resistance appears when we try to improve, because progress always pushes against comfort. We are all wired to move toward what we believe will bring pleasure and away from what we believe will bring pain. Temptation exists because we are constantly choosing between what feels good to us now, and what is truly best for us later. These struggles are not signs that we are failing—they are opportunities to become stronger and improve. Every difficult decision helps shape who we are becoming. Every temptation resisted builds integrity. Every conflict handled with empathy develops wisdom and compassion. Being conflicted often means feeling pulled in opposite directions by unseen forces: faith versus fear, discipline versus impulse, truth versus deception, peace versus confusion, or purpose versus distraction. Conflict, in the context of decision-making, is the internal struggle between competing desires, values, emotions, or choices. It is the tension we feel when two or more paths pull us in different directions and we must determine which one aligns with our goals, principles, or future. We experience conflict when we know the right thing to do, but something easier or more appealing competes for our attention. We experience conflict when emotions disagree with logic. We experience conflict when our present desires oppose our future goals. In relation to conflict, it is important to understand and recognize the law of polarity. which suggests that internal struggle exists because opposing forces naturally coexist within the human experience. Conflict arises when we stand between these opposites and must choose which direction, belief, emotion, or action we will align ourselves with. For example: Temptation and discipline create moral conflict. Fear and faith create emotional conflict. Comfort and growth create developmental conflict. Conflict is not accidental—it is part of the polarity of life. Opposition creates contrast, and contrast creates awareness, choice, growth, and transformation. “Polarity creates the conditions for agency. Conflict is what we experience when we are required to choose between opposing influences.” The law of polarity teaches that everything has opposites: light and darkness, success and failure, courage and fear, peace and conflict, pleasure and pain. These opposites are not separate realities, but two ends of the same spectrum. Without one, we would not fully understand or appreciate the other. Many motivational and spiritual teachings suggest that growth happens precisely because of this tension. Without polarity, there would be no decision-making, no testing of character, and no meaningful progress. In many ways, opposition gives meaning to victory. We appreciate peace because we have known conflict. We value strength because we have faced weakness. We recognize light because darkness exists. In spiritual terms, conflict is not merely disagreement—it is the experience of standing between opposing energies, voices, or influences that attempt to direct our decisions and ultimately determine the course of our lives. In this sense, conflict is evidence that a choice matters. It is the mental and emotional pressure created when we stand at a crossroads and must decide who we are going to become through the decisions we make. Conflict is not something negative by itself, but it’s part of the refining process that strengthens discernment, character, conviction, and spiritual awareness. The goal is not to live without challenges, but to rise above them. When we learn to overcome resistance, control temptation, and resolve conflict with wisdom, we become better versions of ourselves and more capable of helping others do the same.